Day 3 of #BOTY2019

Books never get old.I have done more reading than movie watching this year.I`m spoilt for choice on which book to list here. Here are my top three because we are on day 3 of #BOTY2019.

Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo

This book begs you to read it and when you do,you thank yourself for it. It spins a tale like no other. A tale of love & betrayal,infidelity,infertility and sex. I like how African authors are speaking about sex and infertility- topics that were considered taboo.They are bringing them to the table and subtly demanding a discussion.

Ayobami-Adebayo-Stay-With-Me

The Secret Lives of Baba Segi`s Wives by Lola Shoneyin

Lola Shoneyin writes a bold, audacious,witty and scandalous book. It highlights family drama,sexual politics between Baba Segi and his wives; fertility and how men also have issues that need to be addressed, before the blame for not having children`s shifted to the women. This book shakes tables of the elders.lol

secret-lives-of-baba-segis-wives

Manchester Happened by Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi

Jennifer helps me understand the hardships of Ugandans in the UK. I thought that people who traveled to the UK or USA had it easy,they made more money and were supposed to send support to the relatives back at home. The book paints a picture of what Ugandans go through just to make ends meet and appease the relatives back home.The book gives you home (Uganda) and UK in a few pages.

Manchester happened 2

The book is available at African Writers Trust. Call Mark Akampurira on 0785 685909 for a copy.

PS: Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi is in town and will be have a book reading  at Goethe Zentrum on Friday,6th December 2019. Check out event on Facebook-https://web.facebook.com/events/488034021808209/

Reading 6th Dec FB (1)

These are my top three fiction books of 2019. What are yours? Share in the comment section below.

 

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Book review 14: How to be happy though married

Book title: How to be happy though married

Pages:160

Author:Tim LaHaye

I am not married yet 😅 but this didn’t stop me from devouring this book. Tim LaHaye is a pastor and counsellor who openly discusses issues on how two Christians can write and overcome their issues in a practical manner.

The book is centered on how two Christians unite to form one spiritual, emotional, and physical body .Each chapter explores a key, giving scriptural backup,counselling experiences and realities,sealing it with research.

The keys include; opposite attract where he explores various temperaments (more on this in his book,spirit controlled temperaments).couples ought to know their temperament and understand it.

Key 2: Forget yourself.My favorite quote ,”do you want your wife to treat you like a king?then treat her like a queen!!”

“Most counsellors acknowledge three basic areas of marital adjustment -mental,physical and spiritual.Proper adjustment in each of these areas is necessary to create a well rounded marriage.”

The author raises must answered questions, “how do you socialise when married?is appearance important in marriage?how much information to give away to outsiders?how to raise children,church to go to and so much more. He offers answers and real examples from various couples he has counselled which makes the book very practical.

He takes time to talk candidly about sex,goes to length to give a detailed explanation of how the male and female body behaves during sex.

This book is highly educative with a balance of research from various authors and the greatest author -God. Being a Christian,the Bible verses and revelation put perspective on each point.

I highly recommend this book to all those courting and intending to marry, marrieds,marrieds mentoring other young couples. This can be used as a study book.

I recommend it for ladies who need perspective on information they get in bridal showers, relationship conferences.

Book image: bookdepository.com

Book review 2

Title: Forearmed
Subtitle: Insights on Sex, Love and Relationships
Author: Michael Richard Katagaya

Michael Richard Katagaya is a social worker by training and a learning, monitoring and evaluation specialist. He has worked with both government and non-government organisations in East Africa. His passion to live a full life has given him some useful experience in relationships. He has also served with several youth groups, mostly in church. This has given him a chance to get deeper insights into the lives of fellow youths and their thoughts on sex, love and relationships.

Forearmed is a title befitting the book since the content is aimed at equipping individuals to make the right choices and not suffer trauma because the choices people make have an impact on them.

Michael kicks starts off the book with detailing God`s perspective on relationships. “God is a relational God who desires to have a relationship with humanity. He comes first in any relationship because our horizontal reflects our vertical. Horizontal is man`s relationship with others while vertical is man`s relationship with God. An imbalance in one leads to an imbalance in the other.

Michael answers vital questions in the prevailing chapters, “must everyone date? in an era where dating is trendy and fashionable. He answers it candidly with scripture to back it up. He believes one of the worst things to do is date out of boredom. `You may chew gum, sing like a drunken fellow, play solitaire, roll in the sand or eat a lot but do not attempt to let your heart trespass into another person`s heart just because you are bored.

He cautions individuals not to date every person of the opposite sex around them because they will end up dating the entire world. He builds a strong case on conserving purity and not pursuing romantic relationships at all times. He uses references from the situations/problems sent through on Kampala based Christian station 104.1FM by youth who need advice on love, relationships and sex.

In our generation where settling for a married man/woman is the norm, the book cautions individuals to stay clear of married men/women in their bid to settle down. They ought to make informed choices about the partners they choose to settle down with, ask all relevant questions about family history, future plans, career, any diseases, financesetc. He tackles the aspect of finding love on social media which is a no-no for me however, it works for some people but not forgetting the false impressions social media gives yet dating and marriage is a reality.

Love is a decision and when you decide on one lady/man, stick to them and go on to take the big steps while observing both cultural and religious norms of either sides. However, the beginning bits of the book are not as catchy as the continuing chapters which will keep you on the edge of your seats.

Book quality
It is a well written book; with simple language and undeniable humor .The book cover is of good quality and the designers did a fantastic job. The heart with the key, red rose and the scroll on the cover all point to the title “forearmed: Insights on Sex, Love and Relationships. The book is aimed at helping individuals know how to guard their hearts even as love comes their way.

Recommendations
I recommend the book to all individuals dating, courting and those seeking to get married; as the book takes them through the whole pattern from boy meets girl to a happily ever after. Leaders /facilitators who seek to share on this trendy topic have a go to manual with relevant examples from the author`s personal life and from relevant sources.

Lastly, parents who don`t know how to have relationship conversations without their children feeling like they are old school and “don`t understand the current love trends. This book will help your children and they will thank you for it.

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Racheal Kizza © 2017

Book review 1

Book: The software of sex
Subtitle: Most talked about,least understood
Author: Ken Aringo
Pages:106

Ken Aringo, is an ordained priest in the Anglican church of Kenya Diocese of Nairobi. He currently serves as a vicar at St. Chyrysostom parish in Nairobi, Kenya. He is also a Founder Director of Preserving Human Dignity (PHD) Africa Youth Ministry specializing in Evangelism, discipleship, mentorship and capacity building.

Ken is a clergy man talking about sex, a topic many in his line of work shy away from. The most talked about topic yet the least understood. From this book it is clear that sex is a ruling party that needs no president because it holds a one man show.

The book software of sex is simply a conversation on sex; exploiting the deepest realm which is our software not the hardware as we have been led to believe for years.

Ken weaves facts with personal stories of aliases like Sandra whose first sexual encounter felt more like “a loss of something valuable ” than a terrible encounter to Kimberly who at 12 years old is used by an older man in a seemingly safe environment. These encounters curve a sex trail in their lives , a trail that leaves permanent monuments of pain,sex addiction, dead conscience and a deeper need to have an understanding somebody – anybody who can tell what is wrong with the girls.

The girls represent me and other youth who in our “safe environments” harbor deep secrets that we can’t share with our parents let alone loved ones but manifest in many ways and sex is merely one of the many outlets.

The book reinforces the fact that our society is highly sexualized making sex a daily meal for A made up mind. A mind that is a master general that leads an army of action, behavior and the control of our bodies.

Ken dedicates the last chapter of the book to spiritual truth on the topic of sex. It is a gift from God worthy to be celebrated by male and female in the context of marriage contrary to sex deviation-the new normal highlighted in one of the chapters.

This quote from the book by a one preacher and expositor puts icing on Ken’s cake .”There is sex that happens based on hardware alone ….its inferior in quality, immoral in practice and demeaning in spirituality. Sex was created to operate based on consecration. When that is not done, it produces complications. ”

Language
The book language is admirable, very conversational and will keep you glued to each page like a magnet. The humor will have you in literal stitches and you will no doubt appreciate his use of the English language and you will definitely learn new words.

Recommendations
This is a must have for every youth in this generation as it speaks a language we understand and calls forth a strength to uncover truths about our software.
Parents who don’t know how to start a conversation on sex,this is a good way to start. Clergymen who for long have stood in the sidelines during the sex talk, this book will be your starter, main course and dessert.

Lastly for those seeking to research on the topic of sex, the book is well researched with scientific and medical proof.

Order for a copy at KenAringo.com for only 10USD and you can also get the kindle version on Amazon.

Racheal Kizza © 2017

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