Book review 14: How to be happy though married

Book title: How to be happy though married

Pages:160

Author:Tim LaHaye

I am not married yet 😅 but this didn’t stop me from devouring this book. Tim LaHaye is a pastor and counsellor who openly discusses issues on how two Christians can write and overcome their issues in a practical manner.

The book is centered on how two Christians unite to form one spiritual, emotional, and physical body .Each chapter explores a key, giving scriptural backup,counselling experiences and realities,sealing it with research.

The keys include; opposite attract where he explores various temperaments (more on this in his book,spirit controlled temperaments).couples ought to know their temperament and understand it.

Key 2: Forget yourself.My favorite quote ,”do you want your wife to treat you like a king?then treat her like a queen!!”

“Most counsellors acknowledge three basic areas of marital adjustment -mental,physical and spiritual.Proper adjustment in each of these areas is necessary to create a well rounded marriage.”

The author raises must answered questions, “how do you socialise when married?is appearance important in marriage?how much information to give away to outsiders?how to raise children,church to go to and so much more. He offers answers and real examples from various couples he has counselled which makes the book very practical.

He takes time to talk candidly about sex,goes to length to give a detailed explanation of how the male and female body behaves during sex.

This book is highly educative with a balance of research from various authors and the greatest author -God. Being a Christian,the Bible verses and revelation put perspective on each point.

I highly recommend this book to all those courting and intending to marry, marrieds,marrieds mentoring other young couples. This can be used as a study book.

I recommend it for ladies who need perspective on information they get in bridal showers, relationship conferences.

Book image: bookdepository.com

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Hosting tips 101

Ever had people crushing over at your place for a few days,weeks,a month or two,years?
I have been hosted before by friends and I have learnt a couple of things about hosting people. There are hosting Dynamics and today Rachel and I share tips on how to be a good host.These tips are in no particular order.

+Always know your people.What do they like to eat,what are they allergic to.This helps to plan better for their stay.

+Plan!plan ahead for their coming.Stock whatever you need to stock for their stay.

+Don’t change your menu for your guests.Make adjustments depending on who likes what but don’t do a 360 on your menu.This might be costly and draining as well on your pocket,house help if you have one or yourself too.

+Take/accept the help.The more people in the house, there is multiplication of house chores.Incase a guest asks to help out ,let them help.

+Ask for help.Remember some of these guests,like to work and if African ,they have been trained to work and might be uncomfortable sitting all day.Ask them for help.This helps you bond and you could learn something new about each other.

+You are bound to meet people of various cultures.don’t be alarmed.

+For guests who stay for long;months or years, purposefully involve them in the house chores and activities.If you go by a rota include them that way they appreciate and are part of the family and it also lifts the burden off of you to do everything. Everyone has to have some form of responsibility.

+It is important to know how long a guest is staying, especially if you are in a family setting, that way there is no uncertainty and family members are well prepared. Guests who stay for Ununspecified days can easily feel like a burden and there could be the anxiety of how long is the person staying.To avoid such discomfort and uncertainity,it is good to know the length of the stay.

+Be ready to be vulnerable.This comes with letting someone in your space.Be yourself and don’t adjust your lives completely. Let the guest adjust to your system (this can be added to the menu as well)

+It is great to learn from your guests as well, as much as it is your house, your rules, try to involve some of their ways especially if they are from a different culture. You could ask them to cook a common dish of theirs or show you how they do their things. This way the guest feels appreciated and is able to involve a part of them in the family

+When a guest does something wrong or off, it is OK and right to tell them directly and in a kind and polite way. It is so easy to find yourselves discussing the guest behind their back with other family members yet the issue would have easily been resolved by speaking to them. This can also breed contempt and ruin the whole experience.

+Always consult with your family members before agreeing to host someone, that way they are prepared cause even if you are the one taking care of most of the things, they have a right to know and agree as their space will be invaded/interrupted

+Considering all the above, it is actually OK to say no to hosting someone, it doesn’t make you a bad person, it does take grace and quite some work, so be willing to give 100% rather than say yes and your heart is not in it. Whatsoever you do,do it with all diligence as unto the Lord and not man.

This post was co-authored by Racheal Atieno-my Kenyan sister,who has hosted me and so many other people at her home in Nairobi over the years. It is right to say her home is international 😂😂.

Kindly leave your views in the comment section.

Photo credit: Gakosun Photography

©Racheal Kizza 2018

Taking stock 1

Hey hey, September is upon us.
I finally got around to taking stock. The first time I saw it was on chocolaty prints http://chocolatyprints.com/2017/09/30/taking-stock-25/ and then on Sharon Mundia’s bloghttp://www.thisisess.com/2017/11/taking-stock-twenty-seven.html. Check out both blogs,they are amazing.

Here goes my very first….

Making: Tough decisions,that are big and bold. They are definitely scaring me but hey,I am doing it afraid.

Eating: Muesli.It is the perfect breakfast plan. It has Oats, sunflower and sesame seeds, coconut,nuts and raisins. It’s filling,low on calories and gluten free. I have it with strawberry yogurt or milk.

Drinking: Lots of water.I have no skin care routine ,hydration is the way to go.🤸🤸🤸

Reading: David & Goliath by Malcolm GladWell. An amazing book, about underdogs,misfits and the art of battling Giants.

Wanting:To travel.I want to lay in a hammock ,cover my face with a big pink hat,sip on some coconut juice.hehehehe

Playing: Promise keeper by Israel Houghton and Travis Greene .Off Israel’s new it’s on replay.

Wasting: no time in self pity.It leaves you feeling sad, negative,and depressed.In such a state,you can’t celebrate other people’s wins.

Creating: More time to create content for the blog,read and engage in business.

Wishing:I didn’t fear anything.

Enjoying:my thoughts.😂😂

Wondering:about my life. Growing up is hardwork.

Loving:Hearing my mother pray.This is a sound I could listen to all day.A praying mother is everything.

Hoping:for things to get better.

Marvelling:at God’s goodness.I see Him at work ,lifting people up to high places.

Smelling:Splendor by Elizabeth Arden.This perfume smells of the boss life.

Wearing:heels again.yaaaay!!! Exactly a year after my boda accident.My leg has healed and back to normal.Thank you Jesus.

Following: Malaika Nyanzi.I respect her hustle. Anyone who knows her,I want to meet her😉😉

Noticing:People power.#FreeBobi couldn’t be ignored by the world and our government as well.

Knowing:that not all people will appreciate what they have.

Bookmarking: Worship Wreck blog articles.https://marykamau.com

Opening: up to the idea of having my hair in permanent dreads.I wanted to do this at 30 but I feel like I am ready.hehehe

Giggling:at people’s status updates.

Feeling: Hopeful about September.I am all for new beginnings.

Happy New month my people.

Sending you blessings galore .

Book review 13: I dared to call Him Father

Book: I Dared to call Him Father

Subtitle: The Miraculous story of a Muslim Woman`s Encounter with God

Pages:190

Genre:Biography

Authors: Bilquis Sheikh with Richard H.Schneider

I-dared-to-call-Him-father_wp

I have to admit this is by far one of my best reads this year. I laughed, cried and got chills all over from reading Bilquis Sheikh`s encounter with God. I read this book in one day, it’s gripping and so beautiful.

The book opens with a frightening presence, Bilquis an aristocratic from a rich Muslim family feels and is aware of a presence while in her flower garden. The presence literally touches her and she runs for the safety of her house where the presence albeit can`t touch her. She is flustered and her servants wonder what is wrong with her. She asks her two servants, Nur-jan who is Muslim and Raisham -a Christian whether they believe in spiritual things. And they both avoided answering her question. Nur-jan insisted they invite the village mullah to cleanse the garden.

Bilquis deep down knew there was no evil spirit in her garden. She felt a deep seated desire to read the bible after a series of dreams. She was no dreamer but suddenly was having dream after dream with Jesus in them. She gets a bible but does n`t understand it and in the night visits a popular missionary couple-the Mitchells and her only question is, `Do you know anything about God?’’ Mrs. Mitchell’s reply is an interesting one, `I`m afraid I don`t know as much as my husband knows about God, but I do know Him.” Bilquis finds her answer odd and wonders how one can presume to know God intimately.

This visit cemented a long time relationship between the couple who introduced her to other great Christians in the village of Wah. Bilquis enjoyed her new found family who replaced her own blood relations. Upon hearing about her conversion, her family cut off any sort of communication with her because she had done the unforgiveable. Her own daughter pleaded with her not to do but her plea fell on deaf ears. She lost relatives but no one informed her so she could attend burial.

Bilquis got baptized in the holy spirit at 54 and everything about her changed and she grew in her knowledge of God as her father. She had adopted her daughter`s son-Mahmud who also grew into Christianity and enjoyed the bible stories.

Having experienced the tangibility of God from day one, she mentions how the presence of God left her a couple of times due to things she had done. On the other hand, I believe the presence of God can`t leave us. He promises in Hebrews13:5, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” However, we can loose awareness of His presence.

Bilquis  Sheikh is used by God to share her testimony at a conference that was being organized by Billy Graham in Singapore. This was the beginning of her new purpose.

I like the fact that Mrs.Mitchel gives her tale of the flower lady and ends the book on a great and personal note.

I highly recommend this amazing book for anyone who needs to be reminded what it means to be set apart for God.

I recommend this book for anyone who desires to see the power of God at work.

PS; Bilquis Sheikh died on 9th April,1997 aged 85.

Bitature talk #2

Part 2 is finally here and this will mark the end of Bitature talks on the blog. Part 2  covers the business tips that stood out for me and the ones I am looking to implement. Feel free to pause and think critically on ever point and write down your answers. PS;They are in no particular order.

+Have a plan.You can`t do anything well without a plan. For any business to succeed, you must have a proper plan, short and long term. Never start anything without a plan.

+What product/ service are you offering. You must be sure of what you are offering.Your surety is what sets you apart from the already existing products/services.

+What`s your marketing strategy? Now that your certain about your product/service, what`s your marketing strategy? How ill you get your product/service known?

+Do your research. Know all about your business. The pros and cons, who else is doing it, seasons for the business.

+Keep the business system simple-tailor it to suit you and those your working with.

+Have your accounts straight. I have personally run a business before and one of the things I struggled with was a financial system. I was the law and I got into the habit of using business money to meet my personal needs. Now I know better.

+On partnership in business, partner with people who have what you don`t have. Get people on board who compliment you. They will add flair and spice to the business.

+Find out what your strengths and weaknesses are. These help you to know where to specialize and who to hire for the business.

+On decision making, As the leader in your business, hear other people out and appreciate their opinions. However, make the right decisions for the business.

+Don`t be afraid to experiment. In experimenting, you learn the right way to do and not to do something. Your business will benefit from this greatly.

+Learn business language. Learn from those who are already in business,use google, network. Learn how to write a business letter, make receipts and  quotations. Learn all you can learn on this matter.

+Know where things are. Mr. Bitature narrated an old story where Uganda lacked sugar but he knew where sugar was-in Kenya. He got onto the bus and went to Kenya. He purchased lots of sugar and brought it back to Uganda and sold it off and made profit.

+Stay around progressive people. These are people who are achieving their set goals, taking on opportunities and progressing in all areas of their business. You can`t be around such people and not be challenged to be better.

+Read widely. Leaders are readers. Read on your business, read about people in the same business and learn from them.

+Pace yourself. He built Protea a four star hotel to host guests for  the common wealth meeting held in Uganda in 2007 and now he has built Naguru Skyz Hotel 10 years later. Don`t be in a rush. Understand your business patterns.

protea_kampala
Protea hotel. Source: protea.marriot.com

I hope you can apply these principles from Mr. Bitature to your business whether a start-up or one already running.

Share business tips you have applied and have worked for you. Let`s learn together.

 

Bitature talk #1

I had the opportunity to hear business mogul Patrick Bitature speak. Oh boy!! I was clearly in the presence of greatness. I have divided the lessons learnt from Mr.Bitature`s talk into two parts and today I will share part 1.

Our gang alongside other gangs had a date with Mr Patrick Bitature,like you just can`t call a rich man plainly,you should show some level of respect.

First things first, he is a normal man, doesn’t have extra hands or feet. He has the same 24 hours like you and I .God has n`t favored him with extra hours to make money. hehehe. Therefore you and I can make it big like Mr. Bitature.

bitature photo
Source: patrickbitature.com

A few tips from Mr. Bitature about habits of successful people. There is no harm in trying them out. I mean these are Mr.Bitature`s habits and see where he is now. There is wisdom.

Here a few things he shared that hit home for me:

+ Success is about forming consistent habits. Why? Because habits protect from you, keep you organised and form your character. These habits give you an edge. Do you have consistent habits? What are consistent habits?

+Set goals. There is power in goal setting. Do this by writing them down on paper and remember to go ahead and achieve them. Keep revisiting them until they physically manifest. What goals have you set?How far with achieving them?

+Let achieving set goals be your consistent pattern. Don`t relax the habit.Keep doing it, until it becomes apart of you.

+Keep your focus. Don`t let your clothes, shoes, phone, hair, etc affect your focus.

+Take care of your body. Good health must be a priority for us all. To achieve your set goals, your body ought to be at 100%. Don`t ignore your health at the expense of making money. Start now to indulge in proper eating habits, drinking lots of water, get a workout routine that suits you, have enough rest and do whatever it takes to keep your health at 100%.

+Read. There is something you don`t know that can be found in a book, online material. Get reading every day, every week, month and learn something.

+Be consistent in all you commit too.

Go ahead and try these habits .If you have been practicing them, be consistent to have greater results.

Follow Mr. Bitature on twitter –https://twitter.com/patrickbitature  for more nuggets on entrepreneurship,finances and business.

Look out for Part 2 of Mr.Bitature`s talk on the blog.

 

Book review 12: Secrets of a millionaire mind

Ever met a millionaire who knows their net worth but also knows what being broke is?? Meet T. Harv Eker, the author of this amazing book. His wit and sarcasm makes the book a worthy financial read guaranteed to change your financial life-only if you put the word to work.

milionaire mind photo
Photo courtesy of google

He dispels what a poor mindset looks like and gives practical steps to empower your mind to think like a millionaire. He causes you to question your money blue print which must somewhat change if you are to become a millionaire. A financial blue print is what has been passed on consciously or sub consciously about finances by our parents, environments,TV, other people and has become our truth knowingly or unknowingly. He believes, the major difference between rich people and middle class and poor people is the mindset and focus. You will find the 17 wealth files deciphering the ways rich people think differently from poor and middle class people.

The book has been revelatory for me, I am currently going through a serious financial shift in my life . Learning that my blue print needs a shift and I need to pick up thinking like the rich do and stop thinking money belongs to the rich who are thugs, corrupt, fishy has set me on a whole new financial literacy journey.“You can`t be what you despise.”

I always thought net worth is an exclusive term used by rich people (its not their term but they care more about it than the poor and middle class people )and its not important for me to know my net worth. woe unto me. I must mind my net worth in order to cut the poverty cycle in my family.

For the Christians, he thoroughly answers your questions and puts your mind at ease on whether it is okay to have lots of money since some have been taught that money is evil.

The book has practical applications and real life experiences that must be acted on to realize your financial goals.

If you admire to become rich, have your money work for you, live a dignified life, give to those in need, make contributions to family things and enjoy lunch at nice hotels without looking at the right-hand column of the menu, then this is for you.

Remember, “to get rich, learn new ways of doing things.” If you`re old ways haven`t yielded any fruit, I recommend this book asap.

For more financial tips, follow T. Harv Eker on twitter-https://twitter.com/T_Harv_Eker