We get to end the month on the same note we started it on – by honouring the ministers in our lives, this time in prayer.
If you’ve just joined this party and have no idea what’s happening, read this first. It’s not too late to get it done. Besides, the heart of this call is to stir up a culture in us that regularly extends gratitude and honour to those God is using to bless us.
As we come to the end of Pastor Appreciation Month, more commonly known as October, I’d like us to take time to pray over these ministers as follows:
Refreshing for them and their ministries – spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.
Increase in capacity for their families as the ministers continue to grow in ministry. Any minister will tell you that their family is always right there with them for all the ups…
I have attended so many weddings between 2015-2018 sometimes as a brides maids and other times as a support system😂😂. If there is such a thing😅😅
One thing that always bothered me were the speeches.What should be included in the speeches??We have speeches from friends,employers,siblings,parents and the “bagole.” Usually, people give embarrassing stories that speak of the bride/groom`s sex escapades, devious ways,health conditions, diet issues which have no place at the wedding in my opinion.
I was honored to give a speech at my friend’s wedding.For months ,I wondered what to say.I wanted to give funny stories about her,not embarrassing ones though.I believe the aim is not to embarrass but to show her strengths and fun side.
I settled for stories that described and affirmed Agatha.Filled the speech with prophetic declarations over her and her hubby.
I have known Agatha for 13 years and wish her nothing but God’s best. Speech was over within 5 minutes or less. hahaha!!!The siblings and parents speeches definitely affirmed her character.
I loved the theme of the speeches and I believe that all speeches at weddings should be nothing short of that.
Have you given a speech at a wedding before,what did you say?
There really is no one-size-fits-all template for this. Every relationship is as unique as the two people in it and so is its purpose. Not to mention, different seasons of a relationship and the lives of those in it will require regular adjustments in expectations.
The alternative title to this post is: The reality after the hero and the heroine ride/drive off into the sunset. Ha!
Last month for the Marriage Bed series, I wrote on Becoming A Life Partner and the reality that there are no ready-made partners. No one is born pre-configured to be the greatest there ever was at relationships.
Today, I want to go a bit deeper into what it means to work on yourself in the journey to becoming a better life partner.
Foundations
We learn what to give and receive in relationships from the influences around us right from an early age. From being married, having married friends, and being quite involved in ministry in the context of relationships, I can tell you that many things people grapple with in their relationships emanate from their childhood not even their adulthood.
I’ve written about the power of first introduction before…
Author :Martin Aliker with David Gibbs & Hugh Macmillan
Pages:251
Do you know what happens when you are next to an amazing photographer and have a great book? You`re right. An unplanned photo shoot happens😂😂😂. Slay queens mukikola muutya??Photo shoots are hard work.
I was introduced to this book by a one Benjamin Tumukunde ;who constantly recommends legit books.I sum this book up in one statement: Purpose = influence.
Martin Aliker is born in Acholi land to Lacito Okech in 1928,a prominent chief.As a son of a chief, he gets an opportunity to study at Kings school,Budo(now Kings college,Budo) a school for the royals and later joins Makerere University college -now Makerere University.
Because of his desire to travel to America for further studies,he goes to Need Munger and tells him, “Uganda needs trained people.I also mentioned that I enjoyed ,and was good at,science and that there was not one African dentist in the whole of Uganda.”
He gets into Northwestern University in Chicago which had the best African studies program in the US.He learns from the best in dentistry and later on meets,Camille, a black American woman.The two later get married and move to Uganda. They have four children together and have been married for 56 years.
He was so excited to come back home and practice but found archaic machines in the local hospital until he was advised to go into private practice. His private practice flourished and he was called upon to operate on Dr. Obote when he was shot in the mouth.
He grew in prominence ,it’s like God had ordained for him a path of influence. Heads of states knew him and top CEO’s wanted him to be on their boards.He was forced into exile in Kenya by Amin as a result of his chairmanship at the Uganda Argus-a local newspaper.He thrived in Nairobi and grew his dentistry in a foreign country.
He has a rich story,full of history seen through the eyes of a Ugandan. He speaks of all Ugandan presidents right from Kabaka Mutesa who on his opinion the only uncorrupt president to date because he had it all. Speaks of his growth from dentistry and later politics.
At one point,he was asked to be president but he turned down the offer .Museveni recruited him as a state minister for foreign affairs because of his diplomatic relations.He was sent to Libya to meet Gaddafi ,LRA to meet Kony and his men,UK,US on behalf of Uganda.
He ends the book with retrospection, comparing the Uganda then and the Uganda now. There are major differences,good ones at that and he exposes the gaps.
“I am a Ugandan who was alive and mature when this nation was born on 9th October 1962. It is not a perfect country ,but it is a beautiful country with mostly good people. It is the only country we call our own. Nobody can deport or expel us from this land of ours.”
I recommend this book to every Ugandan. You deserve to know the history of Uganda through the eyes of a Ugandan.You are guaranteed to learn so much about Uganda and the events that have transpired over the years e.g LRA rebel group, the untouchables, education,strong civil service,British colonial rule.
Half of A Yellow Sun explores what transpired during the civil war between Nigeria-Biafra in the early 1960’s.
Photo courtesy: Acom Victoria
Odeningbo is the ‘revolutionary lover’ ,optimistic and opinionated about Nigeria and the world at large. He is highly educated and has a lover-Olanna,whose beauty is as rare as a gem and equally captivating. Both are educated from “abroad/overseas,” they are nearly not “African enough” until the civil war.
Their house boy Ugwu is the epitome of loyalty,he is ready to please his ‘sah’ and ‘mah’. He is woven intricately into their lives that not even the war can break that bond.
The barriers between servant and sah are not evident,sah puts Ugwu in school and opens him up to possibilities because he believes education is for all and gives one a future.
Olanna like many African women who are unable to conceive quickly as per the mother-in-law`s timeline ,faces the cold truth about ‘another woman.’ She discovers that her lover,impregnated a mere ‘village girl”.She can’t seem to get past her betrayal until her Aunt Ifeka tells her,”you must never behave as if your life belongs to a man.Your life belongs to you and you alone…”
The war changes every one even loyal Ugwu,he takes part in a gang rape of a bar girl and deep within he loathes himself . Olanna`s rich parents leave the country because they are afraid of the war but their children choose to stay.
Kainene and Richard. Kainene is Olanna’s twin sister who seemed unruffled by life’s happenings.She happened to life,life never happened to her.In her steel demeanor,she loves Richard-oyinbo-‘white man’ though she will not say it. She is like the master and he the mistress. She manages her rich father’s businesses and knows who to trade with.
Olanna betrays her in cold blood when she has sex with Richard. Both parties are guilty.Richard was blown away by Olanna`s beauty. Everyone referred to her as the beautiful one and Kainene as the plain one with a steel demeanor
. Kainene tells them both,”it’s unforgivable” and a cloth of unforgiveness envelopes her never to go off but the civil war causes the sisters to forgive each other.They had more conversation during the war than happier times. Olanna suddenly enjoyed her sister’s sarcasm and even laughed along.
Olanna finally had a confidant when it came to ‘should I keep the village girl’s baby”, Kainene seemed to think it’s Noble and Olanna kept the baby. She became a mother to baby and loved her so much that she would do anything for her even during the war.
Kainene unbothered,unruffled woman of steel cannot be found,even after the war is over. I personally screamed and almost threw my book away, how could Adichie end the book just like that.How?? Kainene, strong and unruffled by anything was never found and both Olanna and Richard were never the same.
This book is real, compassionate and insightful.
War in any form is bad,tears families apart,causes wounds and leaves them exposed.War makes for strange alliances .War tears nation’s apart,there is nothing good about war.
Adichie weaves a superb book leaving one stunned and with a gruesome picture of what civil war can do to it’s Nationals.
I recommend the novel to anyone who needs to be reminded that starting a war is not a walk in the park .Whoever needs to be reminded to have a little compassion for their neighbors.whoever needs a stern reminder to be loyal to her people and all friendships.
I hope you are preparing yourself to receive all my love for you well. It is not simple love, it is like a tsunami and will swallow you if you are not well prepared to receive it. While we work on the part where you receive my love , here are a few things i would like you to know, not that its a script i want you to follow, but it would ease your life by helping you love me right. I want you to accept me and embrace my weird ! Trust me that is not an easy task. i have those days where i forget to take my medicine and its on such days that i need and want you to understand me most.
I want you to touch me mindlessly while the two of us watch a movie – i don’t want that…
Who is teaching you how to treat the ladies in your lives?
Who is teaching you how to behave on dates? (I am not talking about opening car doors here.if you do it, awesome,if you don’t,it’s OK)
Who is teaching you how to disagree but not beat up that woman in your life?
Who is teaching you how to go about proposals?
Who is teaching you how to be a present friend, husband,father, grandfather?
who is teaching you the basics of manhood?
Who are you having your manhood conversations with?
Who are you vulnerable with?(I know in our society,you’ve been told to man up. “abasajja tebakaba,” but that’s not even scriptural, Jesus wept openly)
Who are you showing your nakedness?Who is walking the marriage journey with you?Who is teaching you responsibility?
Who is teaching you how to protect your “Chic,kyana” physically,mentally,emotionally, spiritually and financially?
Who is teaching you not to have premarital sex to prove your manhood?
Who is teaching you parenting?some of you get kids while at campus, after campus and there in between and have no idea where to start from hence ,choosing irresponsibility.perhaps if you knew better,you would do better.perhaps.
Who is sharpening you? ``As iron sharpens iron,So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” Proverbs 27:17 (NKJV)
Who is affirming you? Who is speaking wisdom to you?
Who is praying with and for you?
Who is rebuking you?
Tell me,Who is teaching you?
Who is holding your hand and showing you the way to go?
Who is teaching you how to lead and be led?
Who is teaching you responsibility in every form?
Follow Kuteesa Foundation on Facebook ,because they are teaching the boys 2 men in our generation responsibility.
Comment below with a man ,men or group of men who are teaching you responsibility.
Ladies “May you learn that pain and suffering are not and should not be a rite of passage to your femininity. You are not a rehabilitation centre of poorly raised men, as a wise woman once said,bad communicators who can’t give you the basics like loyalty, honor and the respect you deserve.’
I have had my share of failed relationships, flings annndddd wait for it “assumptionships”.
Yes. You read right: An assumed relationship. Growing up, I have found myself dating or seeing guys who enjoy the benefits that come with ‘being seen’ but aren’t really committed to me or ready for relationships.
This guy talks about exclusivity, behaves like a boyfriend, shares intimate moments with you until he suddenly wakes up as though from a dream and decides-
“Wait! This is not what I want, or I have seen ‘better’ or….” the list is endless.
Sadly I have learned that this only means that the time they were ‘dating’ you, they had someone else they ‘would rather commit to’.
I say this in quotes because they never really commit to the other party either but that is a story for another day.
Making: more time for prayer. Yes, I love to pray. I have found myself running to my Father more. I find peace,love ,joy,comfort ,wisdom for the next hour.
Eating: muesli. I ensure my breakfast is lit and healthy.
Drinking:Lots of mukwano tea. Every time is tea time. My workplace has a steady supply of tea.As a tea lover, I am grateful.
Reading:Dreams of my father by Barack Obama. I feel like a boss lady flipping the pages; being inspired by the First black president of the United States.
Wanting:To travel to Rwanda and Tanzania. I just want to get away and be in a foreign country,walk in the woods, smile at strangers,eat foreign food. I just want to be away. Anybody feeling this way??
Wasting:no time in making power moves. I am excited to be conquering my fears each day.
Creating:content for my blog and a few social media pages I manage. This has set me on a creative path beyond my wildest dreams. I am enjoying it everyday.
Wishing:I had all the money in the world to solve my friend`s problems as well as my own. If you had all the money in the world what would you do with it?
Enjoying:Reading and creating content. My creative juices are flowing and its exciting.
Wondering:What`s next for Uganda with Hon. Kyagulanyi giving the president and government at large sleepless nights.
Loving:My new job. Yes,I am currently working with African Writers Trust. I am loving everything about new my job.
Hoping:for opportunities to make wealth. I must manifest the wealth and abundance of my Father in Heaven.
Marvelling:at how God strategically places us .He is a mighty God.A God of strategy and tactic.
Smelling:Fresh air. My workplace is in a serene environment and the air is fresh and the atmosphere is perfect for work,reading,creating .What more could I ask for?
Wearing:my natural hair in a protective style. I don’t know what it’s called,but my sister Ronnet created it(not sure from where) and the other sister,Joy executed😂😂.I am just glad I don’t have to think about my hair for a week or two.
Following:Amina Abdi Rabar (https://www.instagram.com/amina_kenya/) on instagram. She is a mum, wife,singer,TV host on the trend and /Radio host on capital FM Kenya,MC. She is literally on every stage right now hosting this and that. I am inspired by her power moves.
Noticing:two things .(1).the signs of rain God is sending my way. I am literally excited for the downpour.Can you see the signs of rain in your situation right now? (2).There is space for each one of us in the world,go ahead and be great.
Knowing: Anyone can get back up from anything,be it scandal,loss of a parent,job,marriage. Ask Tiger Woods.
Bookmarking:Pearls for her,Uganda( https://www.pearlsforherug.com/). This site has amazing content that is real and so Ugandan yet at the same time,international. Makes sense?hehe.
Opening:up to the idea of having a photo shoot. I am toying with the idea. I am also open to the idea of adding a professional flair to my blog,turn it into a rachealkizza.com or No Ordinary Scribbles.com(Whatchu think?Help me decide on this)
Giggling: at Bebe Cool. This guy is interesting.He seems unruffled by the public lash he is getting for supporting the president. He is standing for something at least,right? What are you standing for?Who are you standing with?
Feeling:Fed up with how we treat church as a social club. It’s a place where the lost get found.The sick meet the physician.The broken are covered not exposed. The wounded are healed and restored. Purpose flourishes and LOVE conquers all things,believes all things.
No Ordinary Scribbles 